| Are You Ready to Parent Your Parents? | | | | arises. |
| | | | |
| | | | Comer�s personal experience in caring |
| | | | for his own parents over the last eleven |
| Quick: can you answer the following: Do your | | | | years is considerable (his mother, 94, is a |
| parents have a will? Who will care for them | | | | lively resident of a nursing home in |
| if they become ill or incapacitated? How will | | | | Georgetown; his father passed away last year |
| you and your siblings share in that | | | | two months shy of his 96th birthday). Still, |
| responsibility? | | | | he acknowledges that, by virtue of being his |
| | | | parents� only living child (his only |
| Jim Comer, author of When Roles Reverse: A | | | | brother died at 23), there are some |
| Guide to Parenting Your Parents (Hampton | | | | situations he hasn�t encountered. |
| Roads Publishing, 2006, $17.95), says that | | | | |
| knowing the answers to questions like this | | | | �I don't have to deal with siblings in |
| can save families time, heartache and, | | | | coordinating my parents' care,� Comer |
| perhaps most importantly, money they don't | | | | admits. �But certainly many will have |
| have to waste. | | | | to.� Nor did he have the added burden of |
| | | | trying to juggle a career, a spouse, and |
| �This book could save you $10,000, or | | | | growing children of his own when he became |
| much more,� Comer said at a recent | | | | responsible for his parents� care |
| presentation to a packed audience at St. | | | | literally overnight. Knowing that many of his |
| Edward�s University in Austin . | | | | readers will face just such concerns, Comer |
| �But what it can save you in time and | | | | has included a section in which he |
| energy in finding the answers to your | | | | interviewed several parent care-givers who |
| questions is priceless.� | | | | gave him the benefit of their insights and |
| | | | experience. |
| In fact, there is an entire section of fifty | | | | |
| questions Comer implores his readers not to | | | | In easy-to-read style, Comer packs a |
| ignore; questions like: can you legally take | | | | tremendous amount of information in just over |
| action on your parents� behalf in case | | | | 300 pages. He has compiled sections of price |
| of emergency? Are you authorized to make | | | | comparisons for various types of care, |
| decisions on their behalf if they cannot? Do | | | | services, and products. The fourth section of |
| you have access to their medical and | | | | the book contains lists, often complete with |
| financial information to assist in | | | | website addresses, of advocacy agencies for |
| transactions they are no longer capable of | | | | senior citizens, insurance departments and |
| negotiating? Comer�s book includes | | | | agencies on aging listed state by state, and |
| interviews with Elder Law attorneys to help | | | | health insurance assistance programs. When |
| readers negotiate the maze of legal cans and | | | | Roles Reverse is a virtual trip to the |
| can'ts. | | | | library, the equivalent of hours of googling |
| | | | at your fingertips. It cannot be stressed |
| Full of humor and touching personal stories, | | | | enough: this book should be in every adult |
| Comer has left no bases uncovered in When | | | | child�s library! For most, it isn�t |
| Roles Reverse. In it, readers will find | | | | a matter of if you�ll need the |
| information on how to apply for Medicaid and | | | | information in this book, only a matter of |
| how to negotiate the red tape bureaucracy of | | | | when. According to recent research, long-term |
| the Veterans� Administration. In | | | | care is starting to rival childcare as a |
| preparing this guide, Comer interviewed | | | | problem affecting the business focus of |
| bereavement counselors, geriatric and hospice | | | | American employees. |
| care managers, funeral home directors, and | | | | |
| managers of retirement homes, assisted living | | | | As Comer's experience and that of those he |
| facilities, and nursing homes to help you | | | | interviewed tells us, it is far better to be |
| decide which option will be best in your | | | | an educated consumer of care for your parents |
| parents� situation, and which will be | | | | than one who is forced into making choices |
| most affordable. He also consulted with | | | | that may be neither the best nor the most |
| insurance specialists on long-term care and | | | | cost-effective simply because they must be |
| burial policies, the latter of which can be | | | | made immediately. |
| an especially dicey topic to broach with | | | | |
| one�s parents. | | | | Written as personably as one of Comer's |
| | | | presentations to live audiences (he is a |
| Perhaps one of the most interesting sections | | | | speech and communications consultant by |
| is the question-and-answer session with the | | | | trade), each chapter ends with one of |
| bereavement counselor. After all, it is those | | | | �Comer's Commandments.� Anyone who |
| who remain who must carry out a parent�s | | | | has seen Comer in action can hear his |
| final wishes (assuming they even know what | | | | expressive voice ringing through his words. |
| they are), and who must often make decisions | | | | As celebrated writer Liz Carpenter puts it, |
| even in the midst of grief. Comer�s | | | | �Jim Comer is a good-natured guide who |
| point is driven home again and again: it is | | | | brings significant tips on facing the |
| better to have as many decisions taken care | | | | challenges of parental care and enjoying the |
| of as possible before the need actually | | | | process. |