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Are You Ready to Parent Your Parents?

Are  You  Ready  to  Parent  Your  Parents?arises.
Comer�s personal experience in caring
for his own parents over the last eleven
Quick: can you answer the following: Do youryears is considerable (his mother, 94, is a
parents have a will? Who will care for themlively resident of a nursing home in
if they become ill or incapacitated? How willGeorgetown; his father passed away last year
you and your siblings share in thattwo months shy of his 96th birthday). Still,
responsibility?he acknowledges that, by virtue of being his
parents� only living child (his only
Jim Comer, author of When Roles Reverse: Abrother died at 23), there are some
Guide to Parenting Your Parents (Hamptonsituations  he  hasn�t  encountered.
Roads Publishing, 2006, $17.95), says that
knowing the answers to questions like this�I don't have to deal with siblings in
can save families time, heartache and,coordinating my parents' care,� Comer
perhaps most importantly, money they don'tadmits. �But certainly many will have
have  to  waste.to.� Nor did he have the added burden of
trying to juggle a career, a spouse, and
�This book could save you $10,000, orgrowing children of his own when he became
much more,� Comer said at a recentresponsible for his parents� care
presentation to a packed audience at St.literally overnight. Knowing that many of his
Edward�s University in Austin .readers will face just such concerns, Comer
�But what it can save you in time andhas included a section in which he
energy in finding the answers to yourinterviewed several parent care-givers who
questions  is  priceless.�gave him the benefit of their insights and
experience.
In fact, there is an entire section of fifty
questions Comer implores his readers not toIn easy-to-read style, Comer packs a
ignore; questions like: can you legally taketremendous amount of information in just over
action on your parents� behalf in case300 pages. He has compiled sections of price
of emergency? Are you authorized to makecomparisons for various types of care,
decisions on their behalf if they cannot? Doservices, and products. The fourth section of
you have access to their medical andthe book contains lists, often complete with
financial information to assist inwebsite addresses, of advocacy agencies for
transactions they are no longer capable ofsenior citizens, insurance departments and
negotiating? Comer�s book includesagencies on aging listed state by state, and
interviews with Elder Law attorneys to helphealth insurance assistance programs. When
readers negotiate the maze of legal cans andRoles Reverse is a virtual trip to the
can'ts.library, the equivalent of hours of googling
at your fingertips. It cannot be stressed
Full of humor and touching personal stories,enough: this book should be in every adult
Comer has left no bases uncovered in Whenchild�s library! For most, it isn�t
Roles Reverse. In it, readers will finda matter of if you�ll need the
information on how to apply for Medicaid andinformation in this book, only a matter of
how to negotiate the red tape bureaucracy ofwhen. According to recent research, long-term
the Veterans� Administration. Incare is starting to rival childcare as a
preparing this guide, Comer interviewedproblem affecting the business focus of
bereavement counselors, geriatric and hospiceAmerican  employees.
care managers, funeral home directors, and
managers of retirement homes, assisted livingAs Comer's experience and that of those he
facilities, and nursing homes to help youinterviewed tells us, it is far better to be
decide which option will be best in youran educated consumer of care for your parents
parents� situation, and which will bethan one who is forced into making choices
most affordable. He also consulted withthat may be neither the best nor the most
insurance specialists on long-term care andcost-effective simply because they must be
burial policies, the latter of which can bemade  immediately.
an especially dicey topic to broach with
one�s  parents.Written as personably as one of Comer's
presentations to live audiences (he is a
Perhaps one of the most interesting sectionsspeech and communications consultant by
is the question-and-answer session with thetrade), each chapter ends with one of
bereavement counselor. After all, it is those�Comer's Commandments.� Anyone who
who remain who must carry out a parent�shas seen Comer in action can hear his
final wishes (assuming they even know whatexpressive voice ringing through his words.
they are), and who must often make decisionsAs celebrated writer Liz Carpenter puts it,
even in the midst of grief. Comer�s�Jim Comer is a good-natured guide who
point is driven home again and again: it isbrings significant tips on facing the
better to have as many decisions taken carechallenges of parental care and enjoying the
of as possible before the need actuallyprocess.



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